Saturday, June 12, 2010

Ryan Watches A Motion Picture #36: The Room (2003)

This image, this face, was on a lone billboard for years with the tagline "Can you really trust anyone?" Audiences were not disappointed.

Here's how I heard about The Room:

A friend of mine says "Hey, I need you to track down a movie for me. Have you heard about this movie called The Room?"

I said no.

He says "It's supposed to be the worst movie ever made."

I was interested.

"Apparently Alec Baldwin was walking past a huge line-up filled with twenty-somethings and paused long to enough to ask what was going on. A guy told him 'It's The Room, it's the worst movie I've ever seen. I've seen it four times.' Then Alec Baldwin got in line."

I was very interested.

The greatest Baldwin had this to say: “It’s like ‘Rocky Horror Picture Show’ without the wit or charm.” I don't think that's terribly accurate, since I've always considered Rocky Horror clever, competent, and actually pretty artsy in an elemental and carnival way. The Room is more like a late night blue-movie without the wit or charm. Sorry, with less wit and charm. It is, however, wildly entertaining for it.

It's essentially one Tommy Wiseau's earnest attempt to make a film about human passion and foible utterly ruined by his passion and foible. Wiseau's not a good writer, he's not a good director, and he's an even worse actor. What he does have is the money to produce a motion picture, though, and The Room is a motion picture. I can't really praise it unironically beyond that. I can say that it's been awhile since I've seen a movie this hilariously terrible, Birdemic: Shock and Terror at the Bloor Cinema aside. This'll be a great party movie for sure, and for extra flavour, try downloading the Rifftrax for a couple bucks - Rifftrax being downloadable comedic commentaries produced by some of the old Mystery Science Theater 3000 crew.

So: Beautiful and terrible as the dawn. And Wiseau looks and sounds like he should be fronting a European power metal band. We'll say it's called Owl King.

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