Then you have elected the way....of metal!
Sir Christopher Lee, who seems to have traced his family tree back to Charlemagne, has decided to make a metal record based on the life of his ancient ancestor. It'll be a rock opera, and he'll be singing the part of Charlemagne. He's currently 88.
Lee's actually done a bit of metal work before, lending his resonant voice to the songs of power metal colossuses like Manowar and Rhapsody. In a vlog he posted, he describes his surprise over his burgeoning interest in metal of the symphonic variety, which is a breed of metal in which you 'can actually hear what's being said,' he puts it with a slight scowl. Symphonic metal, which is basically power metal drowned in orchestral bombasticism and melodrama, is about as cheesy as music can get.
Here's a sample:
Did you hear his fell voice on the wind? Gandalf my old friend, this should be an album to remember.
IT'S SARUUMAAAAAAANNNNN *avalanche*
If you're reading this on bookface, the vids won't show up. Here's the link to the original blog post.